


The Perks of Rogue Parrots

by oceaxe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Frottage, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 16:25:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8216899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceaxe/pseuds/oceaxe
Summary: Harry only invited Draco to live with him because he assumed Draco wasn't his type. And because he didn't know about the parrots.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the lovely and inimitable Maccadole on the occasion of her birthday! I wish I'd had more time to devote to this! Sorry for the weird parrot theme - I needed a prompt and the only one that didn't have me running for the hills was "Parrot." Fun fact, the whole thing with the Quaker parrots really happened to me!

Harry had thought it would be safe, living with Draco. Draco wasn’t his type, not at all - he was a bit scrawny and his hair was thinning ever so slightly and he was so conceited and agrumentative. Granted, the conceit often verged into self-parody and the argumentativeness meshed seamlessly with Harry’s own need to spar with someone on a regular basis. And the scrawniness was more of a lithe, long-limbed thing -- but he was an acquired taste, obviously, and one that Harry couldn’t see himself developing. 

Not to mention his parrots. 

His green Quaker parrots. They had moved in with him, part of a package deal Draco had said, and they had seemed cute at first. Quirky. Then it turned out that the large cage that had accompanied them was only used at night. They roamed free range during the day. Which explained why Harry had been exiled from his bedroom at ten pm, because Draco hadn’t come home to put them to “bed” yet, and the inquisitive creatures had wandered into Harry’s room where he’d been tinkering with a muggle computer, trying to figure out something his students called “Minecraft.”

He’d looked up to see two bobbing little heads making their way towards him and his first thought had been, how cute! His next thought, as the birds separated to triangulate their approach to him, had been mild panic and the odd observation that they were really quite like little aliens, all blank stares and atavistic beaks and the crazy neon green of their feathers. 

They had gotten quite close to him by that point and were pecking gently at his shoes, which brought them back into cute territory until one parrot decided to scale him like a mountain climber, digging its claws painfully through his trouser legs and into his actual legs, using its terrifying beak to gain purchase. Fighting a full blown panic attack, he babbled some nonsense to the bird, keeping a firm eye on the other one to ensure it didn’t also attempt to mount him. Once the first bird was on his knee, he and it conducted a staring contest that had Harry convinced he was about to lose his nose. Then the mad thing had taken flight and dive-bombed his head, the other one had joined in, and before he knew it he was ducking out of the room with his arms over his head, screaming in a humiliating way and thanking god that Draco wasn’t there to see it. 

Slamming the door shut to prevent the awful creatures from following him into the living room, Harry thought briefly about fire-calling Draco to come get the things until realized he didn’t know where he was. 

He should really be able to keep tabs on his flatmate, he thought. It was unsettling to know that Draco was out there in the world and anything could be happening to him and Harry wouldn’t be able to help. Draco should get a cell phone or something. Or maybe just one of those coins they’d used in the DA- something so that they could contact each other. They shared a home now, they were in this together. Or something. 

It was with that thought in his head that Harry fell asleep on the couch, and didn’t wake up until he felt a hand on his back. At first he thought the parrots had worked out how to turn a doorknob and that one had crawled atop him. He reared up and into Draco, who was leaning over him on the couch, smelling of booze and cologne and that indefinable musky scent that Harry had noticed over the months that they’d been flatmates. 

“Alright, Potter?” Draco said, voice slightly slurred with drink. “What’re you out here for?”

“Your parrots, Draco - they locked me out of my room.” Harry sat all the way up and rubbed his eyes, feeling ridiculous.

Draco burst out laughing. “My parrots - my parrots have taken over your room? Is it a hostage situation?”

“No, of course not, I never have anyone over,” Harry mumbled. It was true, he hadn’t had anyone over since Draco had moved in. There hadn’t really been any need. All his social needs were satisfied by having Draco around, and his physical needs easily sated by his hand and some good porn. That the porn now included a high percentage of long-limbed men with blond hair more often than not was immaterial. As was the fact that, if he were honest, his hand was losing some of its charm. 

“I know,” Draco purred. “So then, you won’t be committing an unpardonable social faux pas if you spend the night in my room?”

Harry blinked and then blinked some more. The room was in darkness so he couldn’t see Draco’s expression. “But why - can’t you get them out my room now?”

“Harry,” Draco said in a fondly withering tone, “It’s one o’clock in the morning. My birds will be sleeping by now, and let’s just say you don’t want to disturb their beauty rest.”

Harry was momentarily overtaken by fears for his bedlinen and then he remembered the sorry state of said linen at the best of times and decided he probably needed to buy new sheets anyway. And then the implication of Draco’s offer sunk in. 

“But, well - are you sure? I could just sleep here-” 

Draco cut him off with a finger against his lips. “Shhh, Potter, you’ll put your back out on this pathetic piece of furniture. Just come to my room, I have a lovely large bed with higher thread-count sheets than you’ve ever imagined.”

Harry nodded dumbly and rose to follow Draco back to his en suite. He had flatly refused to share a bathroom with Harry and had paid for all the renovations and wizarding space to install his own modern bath chamber. 

Draco turned up the wall sconces just a fraction, then lit candles with a wave of his wand and extinguished the rest of the light. “Climb in, you can take the side nearest the window.”

The duvet was heavenly - thick and heavy and airy at the same time. Harry was too tired and disoriented by repeated surges of adrenaline to fully comprehend the enormity of what was happening. Draco must have gone to use his ridiculously well-appointed loo because he hadn’t yet made an appearance by the time Harry was settled in. He was feeling a mild sense of let-down at his flatmate’s continued absence from his bed when he lost consciousness.

The morning light woke him with a start. Malfoy didn’t close his drapes, apparently. Malfoy. Harry’s head rang with alarm - he was in Draco’s bed. Why? Oh yes. Rogue, bitey, head-bobby parrots. Where was Draco, though- oh. A large presence shifted in bed beside him and Harry closed his eyes in disbelief. 

Draco rolled over to press right up next to Harry, pleasantly warm and oh, there was that scent. And there was something else pressed up against Harry. He checked to see that Draco was still asleep. All signs pointed to yes. Harry allowed himself just the slightest backwards motion, just enough to make absolutely certain that the hardness against his arse was what he thought it was. 

It was. 

Instantly, his own half-erection bloomed into full-blown morning wood. He put a hand on himself, feeling like he must be dreaming. It was time to admit that this was where he wanted to be. Having Draco's erection pressed firmly up against his arse, and the rush of warm feelings that engendered, was rapidly putting things in perspective.

Unable to help himself, he pressed back against Draco’s cock tentatively, heart racing lest he should hear stirring or-

“Stop that, Potter,” Draco murmured low in his ear. Harry’s blood froze until he registered the long arms wrapping around his torso and yanking him hard up against the thick length of Draco’s erection. 

“If you’re going to do it, do it right.” His hand slid around to Harry’s groin, unerringly finding Harry’s hard prick, trapped in his pants. Harry gasped and his head fell back against Draco's shoulder. Draco chuckled in his ear, stroking and teasing relentlessly. 

“Now isn’t this nice,” Draco’s voice burred against Harry’s neck as he ground up into the crack of his arse. “I really think we should do this more often.” His skillful fingers slid under the waistband of Harry’s pants and grazed the tip of his cock. Harry put his hand over Draco’s and pressed it harder against himself, groaning, then turned in the circle of Draco’s arms to rub their dicks together. Draco stared into his eyes and draped his arm over Harry’s shoulder, weaving his hand into hair at the nape of his neck. 

“Aren’t you glad my awful little avians got the better of you last night?” he said in a low, amused voice before leaning in and pressing his lips against Harry’s. Harry hmmed his agreement and approval into Draco's mouth. Draco shifted them until he lay on top and bucked his hips forcefully, drawing a long moan from Harry, who spread his legs and let Draco settle his legs between them giving full access for grinding, or fucking, or whatever the fuck Draco wanted.

“So we’re doing this, then?” he asked, giving Harry a long searching look. “I don’t want to fuck up a perfectly good living situation for nothing. But you should know I don't share.”

“I’m all in, Draco,” Harry murmured against his lips, then snaked his tongue in and pulled him down for some serious snogging. They rutted against each other until both of them were panting and sweating; a wet, wrecked mess of pleasure sprawled out on the huge bed. 

Afterwards, they lay side by side, grinning at each other like they’d gotten away with something. 

“I really didn’t think you’d be my type,” Harry said, laughing ruefully.

“Shows what you know, you git. I’ve always known what your type was.”

“What about you? Did you know-” Harry broke off, too embarrassed by his presumption to go further. 

“Yes, Harry,” Draco drawled, “I knew you were my type. I’ve known since fifth year. Now are we going to fuck or what?” 

Harry’s heart and cock both leapt. “Fuck yes. You’re going to fuck me raw, right after you evict your damned birds from my room and lock them up for the rest of their natural lives.” 

Draco laughed and raised his wand, waving in and muttering a spell. A distant squawking was succeeded by the clanging of a cage door. “Done,” he said, reaching for Harry.


End file.
